Kat's Favourites
(Brilliant and Inspirational Quotations)
I have spent some time writing out quotes from his books, that I felt were much too clever not to glorify, and here they are, for your reading pleasure. Hopefully they will encourage you to read these books, as they are well worth it and are an absolute pleasure.
The bottom line is, I feel everyone should discover Quentin Crisp for himself. I don’t think reading anyone else’s thoughts about him is of any use at all, because each person can take what he wishes from his wit and wisdom. So, to all the newbies, go out there, on eBay, on half.com and read, read, read! If they don’t speak to you, just put them down and move on to something more suitable. But if they do, you’ll never be able to live without those words again.
The Naked Civil Servant
"The place where no harm can come is the place where nothing at all can come..."
"What keeps a woman young and beautiful is not repeated surgery, but perpetual praise."
"Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors."
"There is no great dark man!" (Film)
"Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who, before anything has reared its ugly head, have already accepted as inevitable the wide gulf between their real futures and the expectations of their fantasies."
"If one is not going to take the necessary precautions to avoid having parents, one must undertake to bring them up."
"I had already systematically searched all the likely windows in Oxford St and was just starting on Charing Cross Road when I was stopped by two policemen disguised as human beings…"
"When stripped, I looked less like 'Il David' than a plucked chicken that died of myxomatosis"
"In London people stood with their faces six inches from mine and hissed – 'Who do you think you are?' What a stupid question. It must have been obvious that I didn't think I was anybody else." (Resident Alien)
How To Have a Life-Style
"We have reached a state of affairs in which, if you steal a sufficiently large sum of money, or murder a small enough person, you are given the same sentence"
"… perpetual threat of invasion is normal… Even Walt Disney, the Archdeacon of Twee, did not try to bury this fact beneath a heap of sugar. In none of his nature films was there ever a single chipmunk that ate his lunch at peace. After seeing any of these movies one felt that possibly small animals die as often from ulcers as from enemy activity."
"If to look upward is vain, because, to put it politely, You-Know-Who is resting, and to gaze about us is unbearable, where else is there to look but within?"
"We do not need the perfectly designed chair; we want a capacity for relaxation even on a bed of nails"
"Competition of any kind encourages a man to make comparisons between himself and other people, which is a completely misguided activity of mind."
Manners from Heaven
"To arrive at the end of your life thinking, I never did anything I REALLY wanted to do… must be one of the most profound miseries the human soul is capable of feeling – and one for which there is no last minute cure or consolation."
"It may take years for someone to realize that they are miscast for the roles they are offered in the Broadway drama of Life, and that they would be better off declining a part in an overrated mediocrity. There are great roles off-Broadway."
On Feminism: "What does it matter that men put women on pedestals for the same reason that restaurateurs put chairs on tables – to get them out of the way while making a clean sweep of things?"
"You abruptly cut in front of another car during rush hour and sure enough you make it to the next red light two seconds ahead of the pack. Congratulations."
"Traditional values such as the 'lifelong relationship'… only worked when the life-span was short and temptations to wander were few."
"I recommend keeping one's life as uncomplicated as possible. I don't even like to have plants around the house demanding, 'Feed me, feed me', but I recognize that most human beings feel compelled to have little carbon units to whom they can pass on their ignorance and so that the traditions of chronic poverty will not be broken."
"When I was coming to America, I went to the American Embassy in Grosvenor Square and the man asked me – 'Are you a practicing homosexual?' And I said I didn't practice. I was already perfect." (Resident Alien)
Crisperanto, etc.
"Crisperanto is a manner of speaking in which a sentence gets all dressed up to create a pleasing impression… It is speaking with a courtly flourish – artificial and insincere like all the best things in life, but charming. Its sole purpose is to mislead people into thinking that one takes an affable interest in anything they say or do – which pleases them and costs nothing –thus keeping the social machinery oiled and working efficiently."
From "The Onion" interview:
QC: Well, I do two things. On a day like today, I don't go out at all, and then I can remain wrapped in a filthy dressing gown, doing absolutely nothing. And someone said, "I don't think you should say that. Couldn't you say you meditate?" So I meditate.
QC: Well, the war was wonderful, of course. I wrote about that. You see, you were in danger, which is lovely, because you look your last on all things lovely every hour. And that's nice.
QC: Yes, I never understand that. As soon as a person takes a part as a homosexual, the press says, "What do your wife and children think of this?" And the actor never says, "Well, last week I was a murderer, and the week before that I was a child molester, and the week before that I was a lunatic. But now I'm a homosexual." [Laughs.] He has to lump it all. They all say, "Oh, they're behind me all the way. They approve of it." And I don't know, but it seems very strange. They all object to someone playing a homosexual.
Also read Kat's story
Kat Dudina
USA
1 August 2007
The bottom line is, I feel everyone should discover Quentin Crisp for himself. I don’t think reading anyone else’s thoughts about him is of any use at all, because each person can take what he wishes from his wit and wisdom. So, to all the newbies, go out there, on eBay, on half.com and read, read, read! If they don’t speak to you, just put them down and move on to something more suitable. But if they do, you’ll never be able to live without those words again.
The Naked Civil Servant
"The place where no harm can come is the place where nothing at all can come..."
"What keeps a woman young and beautiful is not repeated surgery, but perpetual praise."
"Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors."
"There is no great dark man!" (Film)
"Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who, before anything has reared its ugly head, have already accepted as inevitable the wide gulf between their real futures and the expectations of their fantasies."
"If one is not going to take the necessary precautions to avoid having parents, one must undertake to bring them up."
"I had already systematically searched all the likely windows in Oxford St and was just starting on Charing Cross Road when I was stopped by two policemen disguised as human beings…"
"When stripped, I looked less like 'Il David' than a plucked chicken that died of myxomatosis"
"In London people stood with their faces six inches from mine and hissed – 'Who do you think you are?' What a stupid question. It must have been obvious that I didn't think I was anybody else." (Resident Alien)
How To Have a Life-Style
"We have reached a state of affairs in which, if you steal a sufficiently large sum of money, or murder a small enough person, you are given the same sentence"
"… perpetual threat of invasion is normal… Even Walt Disney, the Archdeacon of Twee, did not try to bury this fact beneath a heap of sugar. In none of his nature films was there ever a single chipmunk that ate his lunch at peace. After seeing any of these movies one felt that possibly small animals die as often from ulcers as from enemy activity."
"If to look upward is vain, because, to put it politely, You-Know-Who is resting, and to gaze about us is unbearable, where else is there to look but within?"
"We do not need the perfectly designed chair; we want a capacity for relaxation even on a bed of nails"
"Competition of any kind encourages a man to make comparisons between himself and other people, which is a completely misguided activity of mind."
Manners from Heaven
"To arrive at the end of your life thinking, I never did anything I REALLY wanted to do… must be one of the most profound miseries the human soul is capable of feeling – and one for which there is no last minute cure or consolation."
"It may take years for someone to realize that they are miscast for the roles they are offered in the Broadway drama of Life, and that they would be better off declining a part in an overrated mediocrity. There are great roles off-Broadway."
On Feminism: "What does it matter that men put women on pedestals for the same reason that restaurateurs put chairs on tables – to get them out of the way while making a clean sweep of things?"
"You abruptly cut in front of another car during rush hour and sure enough you make it to the next red light two seconds ahead of the pack. Congratulations."
"Traditional values such as the 'lifelong relationship'… only worked when the life-span was short and temptations to wander were few."
"I recommend keeping one's life as uncomplicated as possible. I don't even like to have plants around the house demanding, 'Feed me, feed me', but I recognize that most human beings feel compelled to have little carbon units to whom they can pass on their ignorance and so that the traditions of chronic poverty will not be broken."
"When I was coming to America, I went to the American Embassy in Grosvenor Square and the man asked me – 'Are you a practicing homosexual?' And I said I didn't practice. I was already perfect." (Resident Alien)
Crisperanto, etc.
"Crisperanto is a manner of speaking in which a sentence gets all dressed up to create a pleasing impression… It is speaking with a courtly flourish – artificial and insincere like all the best things in life, but charming. Its sole purpose is to mislead people into thinking that one takes an affable interest in anything they say or do – which pleases them and costs nothing –thus keeping the social machinery oiled and working efficiently."
From "The Onion" interview:
QC: Well, I do two things. On a day like today, I don't go out at all, and then I can remain wrapped in a filthy dressing gown, doing absolutely nothing. And someone said, "I don't think you should say that. Couldn't you say you meditate?" So I meditate.
QC: Well, the war was wonderful, of course. I wrote about that. You see, you were in danger, which is lovely, because you look your last on all things lovely every hour. And that's nice.
QC: Yes, I never understand that. As soon as a person takes a part as a homosexual, the press says, "What do your wife and children think of this?" And the actor never says, "Well, last week I was a murderer, and the week before that I was a child molester, and the week before that I was a lunatic. But now I'm a homosexual." [Laughs.] He has to lump it all. They all say, "Oh, they're behind me all the way. They approve of it." And I don't know, but it seems very strange. They all object to someone playing a homosexual.
Also read Kat's story
Kat Dudina
USA
1 August 2007