Kat's Area
In the Spring of 2001 I was getting over an unfortunate and unrequited love affair and having a hard time doing it. I also happened to come across a notice, at work, for free tickets to “Resident Alien” – an off-Broadway play at the New York Theatre Workshop. I had no idea what it was about, but being an avid theatergoer, I signed up for two tickets for me and a friend.
I sat in the front row and watched a strange-looking man (or woman?) performing on a stage that represented a grungy New York City apartment, portraying someone, but whom?
Until that moment I never knew that a being like Quentin Crisp existed. I had seen an interview with him in the film “The Celluloid Closet”, but his appearance and voice so confused me that I never bothered to learn more about him, or of what gender he was.
So here I was, completely engrossed in this performance, by Bette Bourne, of the Bush Theatre Company, of just a piece of life, or more like a snippet, a long monologue from the life of Quentin Crisp. I kept watching and watching, unable to look away, and he kept talking about godknowswhat, and yet I was relating so completely to what he was saying it gave me goose bumps.
The words:
“You must not value love because it is requited. It makes no difference whether your love is returned. Your love is of value to you because you give it. It's as though you gave me a present merely because you thought I would give you one in return. This won't do. If you have love to give, you give it and you give it where it is needed, but never, never ask for anything in return. Once you've got that in your head, the idea of your heart being broken will disappear forever…”
made me sob. Or was it Sinatra’s “I Did It My Way,” blending so perfectly with the theme of the monologue that had that effect on me?
I had to know more about this being called Quentin Crisp. Who could come up with words that just said it all so plainly, yet so precisely? What kind of a person had this remarkable ability?
Then one day, while randomly walking in Greenwich Village, I came across a street bookseller, and stopping to browse his selection came across a face that looked familiar. It was Mr. Crisp, looking at me sardonically from the cover of “The Naked Civil Servant”. It’s him! I thought.
I bought the book for $5 and started reading it on the way home.
This is how my relationship with Quentin Crisp, who by then was dead for almost two years, began. Having read most of his books within that year, the majority of which are out of print, I started to feel like I’ve had deep and meaningful conversations with him. I started quoting him to others, glorifying the way he captures just the right feeling in only a few words.
Undoubtedly, his life had been difficult and quite weird. He became famous, or notorious, at a very late age, when most people are ready to retire and live out their golden years in Florida or some other equally comfortable place.
The most remarkable thing about Mr. Crisp, for me, is that, despite being born in the beginning of the 20th century, when there was no such thing as “gay rights,” he was, in a way a pioneer of that concept. Because, isn’t our right, first and foremost, to be ourselves? This is what he did, no matter what or who got in his way, and with a sense of humor that can only come out of pain, that I’m sure he experienced since birth. His life consisted of being true to his self, of embracing it so completely, that anyone with any sense would not be able to judge him no matter how they felt about his appearance or sexual orientation – two of the most trivial yet, in our society, most noticeable and therefore important ways to define a person. As Mr. Crisp answered so cleverly to the question, “Who do you think you are?” “It must have been obvious I didn’t think I was anybody else.”
I do not like or agree with all the opinions that other people have expressed about Quentin Crisp. I feel he is greatly misunderstood by the gay community. We often feel that famous people should automatically become spokespeople for the minorities, which they “represent”, yet he never claimed nor wanted to be one. He merely expressed his thoughts with an irony that escorted him throughout his life, without which he probably would not have been able to survive all the hardships he faced. So quotes, such as, “I believe homosexuals are a mistake” have often been met with hostility and taken as insults. In fact, I believe he never meant them as such. One must simply understand his sense of humor, which is, undeniably, unique. He poked fun at everyone, but specifically at the very people who oppressed him.
Some critics have said he hated himself, which can be seen in such thoughts. I disagree. I’m sure he had experienced depression, he appreciated “a good cry,” but clearly, if he hated what he was he never would have embraced it to the extent that he did. The one thing I do believe is he lost all hope of finding a love partner after being disappointed or discouraged, or simply hurt, and therefore sounds bitter when it comes to the subject of love. Even that, however, he approaches with an amazing cleverness, from which we all can learn. He might not have found requited love, but he certainly understood it all too well.
Also read Kat's favourites (Brilliant and Inspirational Quotations)
Kat Dudina
USA
1 August 2007
I sat in the front row and watched a strange-looking man (or woman?) performing on a stage that represented a grungy New York City apartment, portraying someone, but whom?
Until that moment I never knew that a being like Quentin Crisp existed. I had seen an interview with him in the film “The Celluloid Closet”, but his appearance and voice so confused me that I never bothered to learn more about him, or of what gender he was.
So here I was, completely engrossed in this performance, by Bette Bourne, of the Bush Theatre Company, of just a piece of life, or more like a snippet, a long monologue from the life of Quentin Crisp. I kept watching and watching, unable to look away, and he kept talking about godknowswhat, and yet I was relating so completely to what he was saying it gave me goose bumps.
The words:
“You must not value love because it is requited. It makes no difference whether your love is returned. Your love is of value to you because you give it. It's as though you gave me a present merely because you thought I would give you one in return. This won't do. If you have love to give, you give it and you give it where it is needed, but never, never ask for anything in return. Once you've got that in your head, the idea of your heart being broken will disappear forever…”
made me sob. Or was it Sinatra’s “I Did It My Way,” blending so perfectly with the theme of the monologue that had that effect on me?
I had to know more about this being called Quentin Crisp. Who could come up with words that just said it all so plainly, yet so precisely? What kind of a person had this remarkable ability?
Then one day, while randomly walking in Greenwich Village, I came across a street bookseller, and stopping to browse his selection came across a face that looked familiar. It was Mr. Crisp, looking at me sardonically from the cover of “The Naked Civil Servant”. It’s him! I thought.
I bought the book for $5 and started reading it on the way home.
This is how my relationship with Quentin Crisp, who by then was dead for almost two years, began. Having read most of his books within that year, the majority of which are out of print, I started to feel like I’ve had deep and meaningful conversations with him. I started quoting him to others, glorifying the way he captures just the right feeling in only a few words.
Undoubtedly, his life had been difficult and quite weird. He became famous, or notorious, at a very late age, when most people are ready to retire and live out their golden years in Florida or some other equally comfortable place.
The most remarkable thing about Mr. Crisp, for me, is that, despite being born in the beginning of the 20th century, when there was no such thing as “gay rights,” he was, in a way a pioneer of that concept. Because, isn’t our right, first and foremost, to be ourselves? This is what he did, no matter what or who got in his way, and with a sense of humor that can only come out of pain, that I’m sure he experienced since birth. His life consisted of being true to his self, of embracing it so completely, that anyone with any sense would not be able to judge him no matter how they felt about his appearance or sexual orientation – two of the most trivial yet, in our society, most noticeable and therefore important ways to define a person. As Mr. Crisp answered so cleverly to the question, “Who do you think you are?” “It must have been obvious I didn’t think I was anybody else.”
I do not like or agree with all the opinions that other people have expressed about Quentin Crisp. I feel he is greatly misunderstood by the gay community. We often feel that famous people should automatically become spokespeople for the minorities, which they “represent”, yet he never claimed nor wanted to be one. He merely expressed his thoughts with an irony that escorted him throughout his life, without which he probably would not have been able to survive all the hardships he faced. So quotes, such as, “I believe homosexuals are a mistake” have often been met with hostility and taken as insults. In fact, I believe he never meant them as such. One must simply understand his sense of humor, which is, undeniably, unique. He poked fun at everyone, but specifically at the very people who oppressed him.
Some critics have said he hated himself, which can be seen in such thoughts. I disagree. I’m sure he had experienced depression, he appreciated “a good cry,” but clearly, if he hated what he was he never would have embraced it to the extent that he did. The one thing I do believe is he lost all hope of finding a love partner after being disappointed or discouraged, or simply hurt, and therefore sounds bitter when it comes to the subject of love. Even that, however, he approaches with an amazing cleverness, from which we all can learn. He might not have found requited love, but he certainly understood it all too well.
Also read Kat's favourites (Brilliant and Inspirational Quotations)
Kat Dudina
USA
1 August 2007