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Dedicated to the memory of
Quentin Crisp


The Naked Civil Servant On Broadway (1978)

In the end, for reasons that were veiled from me, an option on my autobiography was sold to Mr. Elkins, an impresario so famous that a book called The Producer has been written about him.

When the following year, I again crossed the Atlantic, it was in order that I might begin to work for him. . .When I first met him he seemed to wish to make my life story into a straight play for presentation in London. Later, to my great relief, the project turned into a musical to be staged on Broadway.

The smiling and nodding racket has many branches. Chief among these is to be interviewed by televisionaries or on radio. For this purpose I went whizzing round the United States - to Boston, to Chicago and so on. . . Another by no means distasteful duty that I felt I owed to Mr. Elkin was to be photographed as often as possible. At a party given in honour of Miss Midler at the Waldorf Hotel, I was led across the room to meet her. . . Then, standing as close to her as I dared, I turned towards the largest camera and smiled. Very quietly Miss Midler whispered, 'That's right, baby. Do the whole bit.'

I have followed her instructions ever since.

The first time that I actually went on an American stage . . . was in Newhaven. . . At all first nights staged by Mr. Elkin, the audience is as much under his control as the actors. . . I could not therefore at first be sure how I was being received by America but, as my two weeks in Newhaven wore on, I began to assume a certain reciprocity in my audience.

From Newhaven I went to Washington and New York. There I stayed at the Algonquin Hotel.

Until I reached New York I had always used whatever stage furniture each theater could provide. Now the stage manager was asked to buy the required props. I was amazed at the thought that he lavished upon this small chore. . . He even bought a few ferns to make the occasion look like a Dickensian celebrity lecture.

The critics were amazingly kind to me.

I was at the Player's Theater for eleven weeks. By that time it was recognized by the experts that no amount of advertising could keep the shoe going longer. I returned to England.




"There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings. " - Quentin Crisp